10 Funny Cadences You’ll Die From Laughter
Cadences in the army are known as your jogging or marching song. You can tell from its usual lines like from The Duckworth Chant, “Sound off, 1,2,” and “Sound off, 3, 4!” The main reason for a cadence while marching, is for the soldiers to keep on track with the beat.Throughout the years, these hymns have been further developed to inject humor, military life, and bragging for some. Because not only, they have to keep on track with their steps, they have to be amused as well while keeping their cool in check during jugging. Yes, they have to be serious while singing that funny song or two!
Themes in military cadences
Most topics talk about patriotism, military life, and homesickness. Sometimes, it even talks about one’s long, lost love, or about their parents. Cadences prevalent in the army came from the old nursery rhyme, Old King Cole, which they sometimes change it to Chesty Puller in honor of the most decorated Marine.Meanwhile, cadences can also be about boastings, adult humor, or insults. They came from the story of “Jody,” (the old name for rhythms) a man who’s in poor condition for military service. He takes advantages of other soldier’s wife or belongings and gets away with it. He is often partnered with a specific Suzie – perhaps a general name for the girl in his story.The dark irony and humor and can be found in some of this day’s new cadences. Nevertheless, Jody jokes are all made-up stories by the military or some people to poke fun of the rhythms.
Ten funny military cadences
These hilarious chants may or may not be used in the military, but they sure sound funny. The army can be put to shame if they are heard singing these hymns. Some of these have been made out of jest from military aficionados. And we mean it that it’s quite funny and inappropriate at times.See the most comical cadencies here. From birds to mommas, and cows and grievances, they are sure to make your head spin and belly hurt from amusement.
Types of cadences
We’re going to cut this short – mainly, there are four known types of cadences in the military. They are patriotism or reverent, the non-military hymns like for police force, the humorous, and the obscene ones. The examples above are lists of both entertaining and a dash of obscene. Although there are plenty more of funny cadences in the military, these are the top ten we have chosen for you to know.
Types of cadences
Birdy, birdy, in the sky
Dropped a whitewash in my eyes
I’m no wimp, I won’t cry
I’m just glad that cows don’t fly
If you see what we mean, there’s some humor added to it and they placed Jodi and Suzy together in the story. There’s a little bit of obscenity there, but those elements have already compromised the running cadences rhythms in the military. The song has a light and fun element to it which can make any people get up and running.
When birds dropped their sh*t on you
Birdy, birdy, in the sky
Dropped a whitewash in my eyes
I’m no wimp, I won’t cry
I’m just glad that cows don’t fly
Booger jokes, for the win
Well I got a booger hanging outta my nose,
I flick it off and see where it goes.
Now I gotta booger sticking on my hand,
I shake it off and see where it lands.
Now I gotta booger sticking to my belt,
It’s the biggest booger I ever felt.
Now I gotta booger sticking on my knee,
I wish the booger would leave me be.
Now I gotta booger sticking to my shoe,
I wish the booger would stick to you.
Never mess with grandma!
I saw an old lady walkin’ down the street.
She had a chute on her back, and jump boots on her feet.
I said, “Hey, Old Lady, where you goin’ to?”
She said, “I’m goin’ to the Army Airborne School.”
I said, “Hey, Old Lady, I think you’re too old;
You’d better leave that stuff to the brave and the bold.”
She said, “Listen, Sonny, I’m talking to you;
I’m an instructor at the Airborne School.”
I saw the same old lady walkin’ down the street.
She had a pack on her back, jungle boots on her feet.
I said, “Hey, Old Lady, where you goin’ to?”
She said, “I’m goin’ to Marine Corps Recon School.”
I said, “Hey, Old Lady, I think you’re too old;
You’d better leave that stuff to the brave and the bold.”
She said, “Listen, Sonny, I’m talking to you;
I’m an instructor at the Recon School.”
I saw the old lady walkin’ down the street.
She had a tank on her back, and fins on her feet.
I said, “Hey, Old Lady, where you goin’ to?”
She said, “I’m goin to the Navy Diving School.”
I said, “Hey, Old Lady, I think you’re too old;
You’d better leave that stuff to the brave and the bold.”
She said, “Listen, Sonny, I’m talking to you;
I’m an instructor at the Diving School.”
I turned to leave, and she spun me around;
She kicked me in the head, and threw me to the ground.
I looked up through my tears, and with a voice full of fear,
I begged, “Please, Old Lady, don’t kill me right here.”
She said, “Listen, Sonny, don’t you mess with me;
I’m Airborne, Recon, and UDT!”
This is a dark take on a bird
A little bird
with a little beak
landed on
my toilet seat.
I pushed him in
and flushed him down
and then I watched
him swirl around.
Superman was the man of steel,
but he aint no match for a Navy Seal.
Chief and Supe got in a fight;
Chief hit Supe with cryptonite.
Supe fell to his knees in pain.
Now Chief’s dating Louis Lane
Well Chief and Batman had one too,
Chief hit him in the head with his shoe.
Hit him in the temple with his left heel,
Now Chief’s driving the Batmobile.
This is another joke to birds. Is this the same bird that pooped on you?
A Yellow Bird
With a Yellow Bill
Was sitting on
My window seal
I lured him in
with a piece of bread
Then I smashed
his little head
The moral of
The Story is
If you want some Bread
PROTECT YOUR HEAD!
One rule: Don’t make fun of Chuck Norris!
I see the bearded ninja
(Platoon Repeats)
Alone upon the hi-ill
(Platoon Repeats)
His name is Chuck Norris
(Platoon Repeats)
And kill I know he wi-ill
(Platoon Repeats)
CHORUS:
Chuck No – orr – rr – iss
(Chuck, chuck, chuck he’s the man!)
Round hou-ou-ou-ou-se kick!
(Platoon repeats)
Now, Chuck’s not a surgeon
(Platoon Repeats)
But he knows some tri-icks
(Platoon Repeats)
The quickest way to a man’s heart
(Platoon Repeats)
Is with Chuck Norris’ fi-ists
(Platoon Repeats)
CHORUS
If you get out of li-ine
(Platoon Repeats)
Chuck will put you in your pla-ace
(Platoon Repeats)
The power of a roundhouse kick
(Platoon Repeats)
Can be seen from outer spa-ace
(Platoon Repeats)
CHORUS
If you can see Chuck Norris
(Platoon Repeats)
Then he can see you-ou
(Platoon Repeats)
If you can not see-ee him
(Platoon Repeats)
He’s prob’ly right behind you
(Platoon Repeats)
CHORUS
Don’t break the law in Texas
(Platoon Repeats)
You’ll put yourself in danger
(Platoon Repeats)
Chuck Norris’ twin brother
(Platoon Repeats)
Is Walker Texas Ranger
(Platoon Repeats)
CHORUS
He doesn’t have a chin
(Platoon Repeats)
But should still be fear-ed
(Platoon Repeats)
Legend tells of a third fist
(Platoon Repeats)
Behind his magnificent be-eard
(Platoon Repeats)
CHORUS
This one talks about a Jody and what he’s done
PT
PT
Ah Ha
Heavy on the left foot
Motivated Left foot
Oh Yeah
Aint no use in lookin down
There aint no discharge on the ground.
There aint no use in lookin back,
A jodys got your Cadillac.
There aint no use in feelin blue,
A jodies got your lady too.
Oh yeah
Ah Ha
Not for long
Not for long
Feelin Good
Feelin Bad
Ah Ha
Ah Ha
Here we Go
Here we Go
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
One mile
No sweat
Two miles
Better yet
Three miles
Gotta run
Four miles
To the sun
In the old stories, Jody and Suzie were often paired up
Suzie said to me one day long ago,
Honey please dont join the Corps.
They like to do nothing but fuss and fight,
They look at women like they’re high and tight.
They got poor table manners and they are so crude,
They got a board’s sense of humor and they are so rude.
I said Suzie let me tell you what I’ll do,
I’ll join the Corps just for a year or two.
So I packed my trash and I headed for the plane,
I went to the place where they made Marines.
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
Parris Island was the name of the place,
The first thing I saw was a Drill Instructors face.
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
He had razor creases and a Smoky Bear,
Mountain climbing privates everywhere
Suzie said it’s me or the Corps,
I cant take this life anymore.
I looked at her with a big ole grin,
I haven’t seen Suzie since I don’t know when.
Oh Yeah
I told you, don’t make fun of granny!
Mad Dog
Mad Dog
Mad Dog
Oh Yeah
M
D
Mad Dog
Thats a me
Oh Yeah
Oh Yeah
My Grand mama was 92
She used to PT like me and you.
My grand mama was 96,
She did PT just for kicks.
My grand mama was 107,
Well the poor girl died and went to heaven.
My grand mama was 98,
She went side straddle hoppin through the pearly gates.
My grand mama was 109,
She had St. Peter doubling time.